she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
