wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You should frame my arrest warrant.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
