there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
