I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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