i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I forget how to act sober
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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