... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
