like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You smell like stripper and shame
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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