are you so shy because you have an std?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize