my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
