everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
