whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
