You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
