dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
