Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
