whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you will always have a special place in my vag
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
