what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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