We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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