I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
do herpes really smell.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
