No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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