no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
