the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize