dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
