If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
