Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
