There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
