You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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