Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
