after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
