You just made me feel so damn special
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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