my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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