I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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