On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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