I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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