I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just threw up on my dentist
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
