i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
