You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I believe in your delicious
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
