There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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