halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My ass is underappreciated
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I enjoy the company of your penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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