get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
