My nipple is on Facebook.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
