If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
