And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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