The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
