Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The air was thick with penises
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize