we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
