He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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