It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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