your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
