May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
