my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
