im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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