Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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