She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
