Can Purell be used as lube?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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