after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this will be a night to untag.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
