I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
