using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
