he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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