Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
